How to Create your own New Mama Tribe

Before I became a mom I had zero intention of finding "new mom friends." But then I realized how hard it can be to make it through the day without people to share the journey with and started to step outside my comfort zone. Probably more at my husband's urging than my own volition. It was one of the things I dreaded most when I became a new mom. Going to play dates. Little did I know that one of the most beautiful things about being a mom was going to be letting my guard down to let people in who were experiencing this same journey. Extending myself to meet people who I didn't know but would grow to adore and lean on from time to time.

So, here it is.... 

1. Walk your neighborhood.... and stalk people with strollers and baby carriers! I don't really mean stalk them, but you know what I mean. These people clearly are at the same stage of life as you - stop them and say hi!

2. Go to the local library story time. This is how I met almost all the moms in my neighborhood. Shortly thereafter we formed a playgroup.

3. Connect with friends of friends. Ask people in your life to connect you with their other local new mama friends that you can meetup with to see if you jive. Everyone knows someone who has just had a baby.

4. Use meetup! It has been a great resource for new moms to find a local playgroup - just go to www.meetup.com and put "baby" and the current year in their search box and you're sure to find a group of moms who have just had babies seeking new friends.

5. Join classes! Swim classes. Music and movement classes. Baby Gymboree classes. AND of course baby sign language classes (wink!) as you'll get a chance to chat with other moms before and after class and find people you have things in common with and surely form new friendships. So many moms have become friends after meeting in my classes and it makes me so happy to see them connect and their children play together LONG after their time in my classes have ended.

Sophia (right) and Aly (left) sign to one another when they play!

Photo credit to Jessica Luongo as shared on our Facebook Page

6. Find a baby wearing group. These women may be the most kind and generous and helpful people I've known. Their purpose is to educate moms on the proper way to wear a baby and often they have a lending library to help you figure out what kind of baby carrier would be ideal for you. There's so many choices and seeing lots of women wear their babies in one place helps you to figure out what would be a good choice for you. Baby wearing was one of my absolute life savers as a new parent.

7. Blog about your experience! I have seen it time and time again in the blogging world. Just being real and open about this transition in your life will connect you to others going through the same thing and you end up with a support system... sometimes just voicing your challenges to the world is cathartic enough to figure out how to learn and grow and turn those challenges into adventures. 

8. My last one is simply "Ask for help." My birth educator taught me one important thing that continues to be a message I pass on. Tell the universe what you want and it will be attracted to you. Say it out loud. And when help is offered, accept it gratefully.

I know lots of mamas on the inter webs will have more ideas! How did you find your circle of support as a new mom?

This post was inspired by my friend Abby with her blog post: 7 Ways to Find Your Circle of Support When Pregnant and Postparum --- which you must go view even if just for the awesome quote image she shares there. 

Joann Woolley is owner and instructor of Sign4Baby in San Diego teaching parents how to communicate with their pre-verbal baby using American Sign Language. With her in depth knowledge of ASL as her first language she takes you beyond just the basics in signing, also filling your parenting tool belt with parenting tips and tricks coupled with signing as a great boundary teaching tool for toddlers. Want to know which signs most parents start with but gets them stuck in the mud? I'll send you that hundred dollar tip for FREE.

Founding Principles of Sign4Baby

As I was driving in the car the other day it dawned on me that I haven't shared the REASON for the name "SIGN 4 BABY" as my company name. It is two parts really. One is that there are 4 guiding principles, and the other is a constant reminder that we don't sign for our own benefit, but rather for our child's benefit.

The reason I founded Sign4Baby was more than just to teach parents ASL vocabulary. I wanted to make a difference by helping your baby.... AND helping you. While most parents report that their goal in signing with their baby is better communication, the foundation of my work has 4 guiding principles:

1. Better communication between baby and parent. 

Sometimes that means being a better listener. Other times that means really figuring out what your baby is saying. Either way, my goal is to help you establish better communication early on that will help you for YEARS to come. Often this means helping shift focus to the best signs to teach first, how to engage your baby and remembering to stay child focused for measurable success. There's a reason why my tagline is "Discover what your baby is thinking!" as we work to focus on your baby's curiosities and have fun along the way.

2. Bonding with Baby.

It is an important tenet of the Attachment philosophy to bond well with your baby so they feel secure and do not develop trust issues. I don't know about you, but I'd say a pretty fantastic bond is created when you can understand another person fully and they can understand you. Communicating effectively lays a foundation for a solid bond in your relationship to your baby.

3. Brain development.

I've said it time and time again, ALL babies are smart, just most of them don't have this tool, if you will, to SHOW you how smart they really are. When you can see a child comprehend something, it is innate that you continue to engage and teach. Parents of signing babies are given the positive reinforcement to be motivated to prolong discussion and exploration, in turn your baby is learning even more. Signing is a fabulous thing to add into your story time. I talk about it on the Fox 5 Mommy and Daddy Handbook segment last week. I know from my own experience growing up that children who signed as babies have an aptitude for learning... demonstrating higher IQ, being in advanced classes and being able to think outside the box.

4. Boundary Setting.

As your baby becomes a toddler they will love to explore and for their safety (and your sanity) you need to establish boundaries. It is a challenging concept for toddlers as they strive to become more independent and are seemingly met with more rules just as the world is getting more interesting with their new found ability to walk. The visual aid that baby sign language provides helps those boundaries become more clear to your exploring toddler and even supports the emergence of self regulation. In the end, the time invested in using sign language paired with boundary setting reduces a lot of frustration for YOU and BABY.

Your baby deserves to be heard and understood. Parenting should be made a little easier. I help you accomplish both of those things PLUS all of the above.

Joann Woolley is owner and instructor of Sign4Baby in San Diego teaching parents how to communicate with their pre-verbal baby using American Sign Language. With her in depth knowledge of ASL as her first language she takes you beyond just the basics in signing, also filling your parenting tool belt with parenting tips and tricks coupled with signing as a great boundary teaching tool for toddlers. Want to know which signs most parents start with but gets them stuck in the mud? I'll send you that hundred dollar tip for FREE.